I Am Wearing Underpants!

Daughters are girlfriends without the tact.

So yesterday she and I are walking in the restaurant when she asks "Are you wearing underpants?" Huh??? Why would she think that??? What a questions as my hand is on the door going inside.. could you not have asked that in the parking lot?

It's the white pants syndrome. Aren't all women a little scared wearing white pants?

It was hot, I wore white capris. Yes, of course mom wore underwear. I now believe all claims made by Victoria Secret that you will not see panty lines if you spend fifteen bucks on a little piece of their nylon. Whenever I wear white pants I practically break my neck holding a mirror over my shoulder looking at my ass trying to see if I look "overflowing" and decent. Those capri passed the mirror test.

Needless to say when I got home I did a second mirror test and I purposefully paraded in front of hubby to see if he noticed something amiss. No comment.

Then I remembered I wore those capris in front of my sisters-in-law when we were in Mexico. Sister-in-laws tell each other if something is wrong, like spinach in your teeth or forgotten drawers. Since they passed the sister-in-law test, I just chalked it up to another one of those times where a daughter wonders how I function all day without a caregiver and do we really need to live on our own when assisted living communities are so abundant these days.

We are headed to the beach today. Thank God we are gas guzzling greedy Americans because I really need that Yukon to haul all the stuff I packed. The most important thing in those boxes is my coffee. Forget everything else - life would be a living hell for all those around me if I could not get my caffeine fix every morning. Oh, and sunscreen. Cheap sunscreen makes me itch.

I still have to pack hubby's toilet paper. Every now and then I switch toilet papers on him wondering if he will noticed. I figure I have to balance out the Yukon so I try different things to try to reduce my carbon footprint (sounds like a marketing campaign but I do buy into the recycle message). Let's not get me started on global warming. Anyway, back to the toilet paper, I was shopping at Earth Fare and threw in my cart a pack of recycled toilet paper. It used the word "soft" on the package (marketing again). I get home and changed it out with the Charmin with Aloe and Vitamin E. Actually put the rolls in the packaging - get it? Recycled paper in Charmin wrapping. Figured it was all in hubby's head. Apparently he could be a toilet paper tester and command big bucks. One swipe and he is yelling "What did you buy?" and then I hear "I work hard and if I don't make enough money for good toilet paper I need a second job!"

So if you ever visit us and need to use the bathroom, use the one in our room. It has good toilet paper in it.