Daughters are girlfriends without the tact.
So yesterday she and I are walking in the restaurant when she asks "Are you wearing underpants?" Huh??? Why would she think that??? What a questions as my hand is on the door going inside.. could you not have asked that in the parking lot?
It's the white pants syndrome. Aren't all women a little scared wearing white pants?
It was hot, I wore white capris. Yes, of course mom wore underwear. I now believe all claims made by Victoria Secret that you will not see panty lines if you spend fifteen bucks on a little piece of their nylon. Whenever I wear white pants I practically break my neck holding a mirror over my shoulder looking at my ass trying to see if I look "overflowing" and decent. Those capri passed the mirror test.
Needless to say when I got home I did a second mirror test and I purposefully paraded in front of hubby to see if he noticed something amiss. No comment.
Then I remembered I wore those capris in front of my sisters-in-law when we were in Mexico. Sister-in-laws tell each other if something is wrong, like spinach in your teeth or forgotten drawers. Since they passed the sister-in-law test, I just chalked it up to another one of those times where a daughter wonders how I function all day without a caregiver and do we really need to live on our own when assisted living communities are so abundant these days.
We are headed to the beach today. Thank God we are gas guzzling greedy Americans because I really need that Yukon to haul all the stuff I packed. The most important thing in those boxes is my coffee. Forget everything else - life would be a living hell for all those around me if I could not get my caffeine fix every morning. Oh, and sunscreen. Cheap sunscreen makes me itch.
I still have to pack hubby's toilet paper. Every now and then I switch toilet papers on him wondering if he will noticed. I figure I have to balance out the Yukon so I try different things to try to reduce my carbon footprint (sounds like a marketing campaign but I do buy into the recycle message). Let's not get me started on global warming. Anyway, back to the toilet paper, I was shopping at Earth Fare and threw in my cart a pack of recycled toilet paper. It used the word "soft" on the package (marketing again). I get home and changed it out with the Charmin with Aloe and Vitamin E. Actually put the rolls in the packaging - get it? Recycled paper in Charmin wrapping. Figured it was all in hubby's head. Apparently he could be a toilet paper tester and command big bucks. One swipe and he is yelling "What did you buy?" and then I hear "I work hard and if I don't make enough money for good toilet paper I need a second job!"
So if you ever visit us and need to use the bathroom, use the one in our room. It has good toilet paper in it.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Exploits of a Little White Dog...
Life is good for our fluffy little white dog. She sleeps on our bed, gets organic jerky sticks for treats, and is kissed and cuddled whenever she wants, and probably when she doesn't too. Being a good mommy, I started watching Caesar Milan on the National Geo Channel, figured he could give me some tips. (she did have this rather annoying habit of being an ankle biter).
Caesar kept on and on about walking your dog. Bailie's legs are short and she's so little that tossing her "baby" back and forth is the same concept I reasoned. But watch Caesar a few times and the guilt starts to set in. Every time I flipped through the channels and that show was on a dog was being walked. Was it some sort of sign? Was Bailie's guardian angel sending me "walk your dog damn it" messages??
So we started walking. Gotta admit she seemed excited when I yelled "let's get your leash". And my thighs are starting to look a little less flabby.
Then she started saving her "duty" for the walk. Now to get the dog to poop, you gotta walk her. Is that her way of making sure I continue the walks?? I think so, she's not a dumb dog. But why must she poop on the same yard every time? We get a few houses down from us and the circling dance begins. I get my little bag at the ready, and just know the homeowners are staring at us from behind their curtains wondering why every evening the same dog poops on just their yard. Funny thing is that they own a car dealership. Maybe they think I bought a car from them and it was a lemon and my idea of retribution is having my dog lay a pile on their yard. I do take a little blue potty bag with me so no evidence remains. Maybe their fertilizer attract canines, who knows?
Went to the recital last night, it started at 7 and ended at 10. Just saying.
She was by far the cutest little girl there. I am sure that if we took a vote she'd win by a landslide.
There were some idgits there - the ones that yell their kid's name when the curtain is about to go up? Wish I could have met "REBA!"'s parents - would have told them that their daughter wasn't lost so stop the yelling.
Hubby bought a new digital camera yesterday. Our old one was a basic model which was fine by me except for the screen which was itty bitty. Okay, okay, so I wear my readers alot these days.. but they are stylish!
When the camera died we were in Mexico and I had already commented that it was "acting funny". A woman just knows when something is acting funny. The dishwasher is making a different sound or the dryer is acting weird - we have household machinery esp or it's that we are the only ones ever using these machines and thus we are the sound experts. Funny how no one believes us until the thing croaks.
So he buys a new camera. This thing has all the bells and whistles that a techno gadgeteer would want. This frightens me. I want to point and shoot and see it on a big screen - that's about it. Really.
This thing is cool looking though - Star Trek cool. It has a touchscreen , so now I have to make sure there is not any sunscreen or gunk on my hands when I take pics. And I have to be able to see the options on the touch screen in the sun. Now I am worried. TOO MUCH CAMERA! But here he went out and bought the very best he could to give us primo quality pics and even HD playback. Very nice, very sweet and he is excited. The look on my face when he shows it to me tells the tale - he says "you don't like it". No, I think, I am overwhelmed. I want point and click!!! By the end of the recital he had figured out, after taking several pics of his shoes, how to go back to the last pic without touching 14 screens and making 8 selections. ( a wee tad exaggeration)
He's a good guy. If he had longer hair I'd buy him a hair dryer with multiple attachments and hair settings. I can hear him now.. " I just want to point and click".
Caesar kept on and on about walking your dog. Bailie's legs are short and she's so little that tossing her "baby" back and forth is the same concept I reasoned. But watch Caesar a few times and the guilt starts to set in. Every time I flipped through the channels and that show was on a dog was being walked. Was it some sort of sign? Was Bailie's guardian angel sending me "walk your dog damn it" messages??
So we started walking. Gotta admit she seemed excited when I yelled "let's get your leash". And my thighs are starting to look a little less flabby.
Then she started saving her "duty" for the walk. Now to get the dog to poop, you gotta walk her. Is that her way of making sure I continue the walks?? I think so, she's not a dumb dog. But why must she poop on the same yard every time? We get a few houses down from us and the circling dance begins. I get my little bag at the ready, and just know the homeowners are staring at us from behind their curtains wondering why every evening the same dog poops on just their yard. Funny thing is that they own a car dealership. Maybe they think I bought a car from them and it was a lemon and my idea of retribution is having my dog lay a pile on their yard. I do take a little blue potty bag with me so no evidence remains. Maybe their fertilizer attract canines, who knows?
Went to the recital last night, it started at 7 and ended at 10. Just saying.
She was by far the cutest little girl there. I am sure that if we took a vote she'd win by a landslide.
There were some idgits there - the ones that yell their kid's name when the curtain is about to go up? Wish I could have met "REBA!"'s parents - would have told them that their daughter wasn't lost so stop the yelling.
Hubby bought a new digital camera yesterday. Our old one was a basic model which was fine by me except for the screen which was itty bitty. Okay, okay, so I wear my readers alot these days.. but they are stylish!
When the camera died we were in Mexico and I had already commented that it was "acting funny". A woman just knows when something is acting funny. The dishwasher is making a different sound or the dryer is acting weird - we have household machinery esp or it's that we are the only ones ever using these machines and thus we are the sound experts. Funny how no one believes us until the thing croaks.
So he buys a new camera. This thing has all the bells and whistles that a techno gadgeteer would want. This frightens me. I want to point and shoot and see it on a big screen - that's about it. Really.
This thing is cool looking though - Star Trek cool. It has a touchscreen , so now I have to make sure there is not any sunscreen or gunk on my hands when I take pics. And I have to be able to see the options on the touch screen in the sun. Now I am worried. TOO MUCH CAMERA! But here he went out and bought the very best he could to give us primo quality pics and even HD playback. Very nice, very sweet and he is excited. The look on my face when he shows it to me tells the tale - he says "you don't like it". No, I think, I am overwhelmed. I want point and click!!! By the end of the recital he had figured out, after taking several pics of his shoes, how to go back to the last pic without touching 14 screens and making 8 selections. ( a wee tad exaggeration)
He's a good guy. If he had longer hair I'd buy him a hair dryer with multiple attachments and hair settings. I can hear him now.. " I just want to point and click".
Thursday, May 29, 2008
So I'm Blogging....
As I sit here with my coffee, I realize we lead an interesting, albeit crazy, life. Maybe a little blogging will be useful to me, sorta like therapy without the bill.
My husband and I have a blended family, six kids total, 4 his and 2 mine. We have been married almost 20 years and are still intact and in love. I think a peridoic dose of kid drama has helped us stay stable in our relationship, I've alternated wondering if I should call Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer. Most days I just grab a piece of dark chocolate feeling the love it brings.
Dark chocolate has been shown to lower blood pressure and cholesterol. Okay, great, but who cares about that when it does this;
it tastes good
it stimulates endorphin production, which gives a feeling of pleasure
it contains serotonin, which acts as an anti-depressant
It's either chocolate or vodka tonics so chocolate wins.
And btw, when googling the benefits of dark chocolate, I noticed a lot of blogs out there that were written by menopausal women touting the benefits of dark chocolate. Kinda scary thinking the only thing that could stand between you and getting rammed by a ticked off baby boomer woman is a Dove bar.
Back to the family...
We also have a few significant others of kids, one daughter-in-law, and 2 granddaughters, 5 and 6, with two more grandchildren due third quarter. (My old Corporate Self will appear from time to time).
Tonight we are going to a recital for our 6 year old granddaughter. Let's be honest here - I don't care about the other kids, I just want to see her dance. Not looking forward to sitting through all the other routines but when she comes onstage it will be all worth it.
Today I am taking my other granddaughter to lunch. She wants to go to Piccadilly Cafeteria. If you let her pick where she wants to go eat invariably she picks a place with a sneeze shield. Guess you gotta be 5 to see the glory in an endless of array of jello desserts.
Since this is my first blog I sure hope I can figure out how to get back to it tomorrow.
My husband and I have a blended family, six kids total, 4 his and 2 mine. We have been married almost 20 years and are still intact and in love. I think a peridoic dose of kid drama has helped us stay stable in our relationship, I've alternated wondering if I should call Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer. Most days I just grab a piece of dark chocolate feeling the love it brings.
Dark chocolate has been shown to lower blood pressure and cholesterol. Okay, great, but who cares about that when it does this;
it tastes good
it stimulates endorphin production, which gives a feeling of pleasure
it contains serotonin, which acts as an anti-depressant
It's either chocolate or vodka tonics so chocolate wins.
And btw, when googling the benefits of dark chocolate, I noticed a lot of blogs out there that were written by menopausal women touting the benefits of dark chocolate. Kinda scary thinking the only thing that could stand between you and getting rammed by a ticked off baby boomer woman is a Dove bar.
Back to the family...
We also have a few significant others of kids, one daughter-in-law, and 2 granddaughters, 5 and 6, with two more grandchildren due third quarter. (My old Corporate Self will appear from time to time).
Tonight we are going to a recital for our 6 year old granddaughter. Let's be honest here - I don't care about the other kids, I just want to see her dance. Not looking forward to sitting through all the other routines but when she comes onstage it will be all worth it.
Today I am taking my other granddaughter to lunch. She wants to go to Piccadilly Cafeteria. If you let her pick where she wants to go eat invariably she picks a place with a sneeze shield. Guess you gotta be 5 to see the glory in an endless of array of jello desserts.
Since this is my first blog I sure hope I can figure out how to get back to it tomorrow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
